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After his latest pro-Putin rant, it’s fair to ask whether Tucker Carlson is an actual Russian asset


CARLSON: “Ukraine’s territorial integrity! That’s the concern. That’s what this is really about, they’re telling us. Because if there’s one thing the Biden White House cares about, it’s secure borders—at least in Eastern Europe, where borders are not racist. Ukraine’s borders must be defended. It would be immoral to open those borders to the world and allow, say, tens of thousands of unemployed Haitians to pour across. We can’t allow that. In fact, we will send American troops to Ukraine to prevent that. Open borders are only permitted in Texas, Arizona, and California and anywhere else potential Democratic voters might arrive uninvited from the Third World. But Ukraine? No. Ukraine has a God-given right to territorial integrity, and American soldiers will die to defend that territorial integrity. That’s our official position as a country. Now, according to CNN, we must stop these Russian attacks on the sacred borders of Ukraine, because if we don’t stop them what we could have here is what CNN is calling a dire security situation.”

Not sure how far Tucker can stretch the false equivalence before his viewers notice. But it’s kind of ironic that he went off on his tirade on the anniversary of a real attack on our actual sovereignty. After all, I don’t think the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor because they were looking to snag open fry cook jobs at Carl’s Jr. 

There’s more of this nonsense at this Fox News link. (If you don’t want to click on a Fox link, I don’t blame you. I just fed my poor unsuspecting computer a Fox website cookie, and now it thinks I dry hump MyPillows while creepily ogling an increasingly lascivious series of Ronald Reagan Franklin Mint commemorative plates.) But here’s more of Tucker’s spew, in case you have the stomach for it:

So here’s the Russian position. For Russia, the core question is NATO. NATO is the postwar military alliance created in 1949 to keep the Soviets from invading Western Europe. And it worked pretty well for about 40 years. The Soviet Union has not existed in more than three decades; it’s part of history now. And yet NATO very much lives on, better funded than ever. It’s an army without a purpose. So at this point, NATO exists primarily to torment Vladimir Putin who, whatever his many faults, has no intention of invading Western Europe. Vladimir Putin does not want Belgium. He just wants to keep his western borders secure.

That’s why he doesn’t want Ukraine to join NATO. And that makes sense. Imagine how we would feel if Mexico and Canada became satellites of China. We wouldn’t like that at all. In Russia’s case, this is an existential question.

Of course, this is nothing new for Liar Tuck. In November, he actually said he was rooting for Russia in any conflict with Ukraine. Because apparently defending democracies against dictators and advocating for peace around the globe is for beta cuck losers like you, me, and Joe Biden.


Oh, and official Russian state media has noticed Tucker’s deeply flawed treasoning and is using it to propagandize to the world.

Well done, comrade! For some reason I thought the U.S. was all about standing up for democracy in the face of saber-rattling from tin-pot tyrants like Putin. For that matter, I thought we were supposed to oppose fascism, both here and abroad. I also seem to remember Fox News continually comparing liberals who thought maybe—just maybe—we shouldn’t invade Iraq for no reason to infamous Nazi-appeaser Neville Chamberlain.

Guess that was an outrage for another time—huh, Tuck?

Enjoy your holidays, Tucker, and I hope Vlad slips an extra tin of borscht into your stocking on Christmas Eve. You’ve earned it. Oh, have you ever.

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