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Four horsemen of the dumbocalypse hold outrageously ignorant press conference on Jan. 6 insurrection

Not unlike Donald Trump, these three elected officials have made it their brand to lie in almost every setting as they use their positions of power to do virtually nothing to promote a better, more prosperous American citizenry. The only difference in how we all receive their singular form of narcissism is how they come across. Donald Trump’s strength is that he comes across as someone who very transparently does not care about anything or anyone that isn’t Donald Trump, and that bizarre balance has made him king of these sociopaths.

All three come across as angry, cruel, and terrifying, but in slightly different ways. Greene, with her aggressive Crossfit-style anger, comes across as single-minded in her determination to create some bizarre ethnostate. Gaetz and his silver-spooned arrogance combine with his low-IQ statements to come across more whimsically reckless in his cruelties and say-anything demeanor. Gohmert just comes across like someone who doesn’t know much of anything and therefore might seem a touch less dangerous. 

First up was Greene, who told the world that the Jan. 6 defendants were being tortured and persecuted and forced to submit to critical race theory brainwashing. No, she didn’t kind of say that. She literally said that.

Did you hear that? Just in case that didn’t sink in for you, Greene drove the make-’em-up reverse racism white replacement theory point home. “They were isolated in a separate wing of the jail, where they are abused, where they are ridiculed, where they are mocked because of their political beliefs and because of January 6, and because of the color of their skin.”

Then came Gaetz to promise kangaroo courts and Benghazi trials while also pretending that Benghazi investigations were mishandled because they found nothing. “We are going to take power after this next election. When we do, it’s not going to be the days of Paul Ryan, and Trey Gowdy, and no real oversight, and no real subpoenas. It’s going to be the days of Jim Jordan, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Dr. Gosar, and myself.”


Alexander Nazaryan, the senior White House correspondent for Yahoo, reports that at the press conference, Gaetz told him “that if Republicans win the House in 2022, he will move to install Trump as House Speaker.” I mean, Gaetz has to do something in the hopes of getting law enforcement off his trail.

Then Gosar came up to make a series of statements about the cruel conditions of the incarcerated Jan. 6 defendants. Calling them human rights violations, Gosar made sure to explain how white these defendants are. They aren’t those “hardened criminals” people (the ones Gosar and Greene and Gohmert and Gaetz never speak up for), “they’re fathers.” Somehow Gosar’s statement was the least outrageous of the four, so he has that going for him.

Then it was Gohmert’s turn. Gohmert has recently decided to leave Congress in the hopes of taking control of the Texas attorney general’s office, announcing his bid against the publicly corrupt Ken Paxton last month. Gohmert’s job was to promote the conspiracy theory that the only people who should be charged with insurrection should be the FBI. Literally—that’s his fact-free conspiracy vomit into the public sphere for the day.


During the press question section of the conference, a reporter pointed out that Greene seems to defend Jan. 6 insurrectionists and hold press conferences for them, but not for the Capitol Police. Greene answered that with a tremendous series of lies, including the statement that she and Gohmert wanted to give the Capitol Police medals of honor. Sadly, Texas’ Gohmert, Georgia’s Greene, Florida’s Gaetz, and Arizona’s Gosar were four of the 21 Republicans who voted against the House bill that would award Capitol Police officers present during the Jan. 6 insurrection with Congressional medals of honor.

Below is the full press conference. Warning: It is about 40 minutes long and every moment you spend watching it is a moment you may never get back.

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